How Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road years ago, but who wants a big, blue, slow chicken?

Windows 95 Chicken: You see differently colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

Microsoft Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

Amiga Chicken: There are multiple chickens, crossing many roads at the same time, but they were, unfortunately, marketed as frogs.

OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken: First it builds the road ...

C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

VB Chicken: USHighways!TheRoad.cross(aChicken)

Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, this is a chicklet.)

Web Chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!

Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

Lotus Chicken: Don't you dare try to cross the road the same way we do!

Macintosh Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road; so there's no way to tell it to.

COBOL Chicken:
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN
PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING