Are You Feeling Old?

* The Iranian hostage crisis began before they were born.

* MTV made it's debut the year they were born, as did the Sony Walkman.

* "New Wave" is their *parents'* musical generation.

* Cyndi Lauper, Boy George, the Pretenders, the Kinks, and the Sex Pistols are all old music they have heard of, if they have heard of it at all.

* The concept of the BEATLES is just that -- a concept. They broke up 10 years before these guys were even born!

* They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era.

* They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.

* If they have heard the name "Oliver North," it was probably as a losing Congressional candidate, or perhaps in some obscure survey history text's reference, such as might be made to Huey Long or the Teapot Dome scandal.

* "Black Monday, 1987" is as significant to them as the Great Depression.

* Their world has always included AIDS.

* Not having lived through the Disco Scare, they are able to romanticize the 1970s.

* They see the TV show "Family Ties" as something middle-aged ladies watch.

* They watched "Star Wars" years ago, when they were kids -- on video.

* Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums and cassette audiotapes; they may have heard of an 8-track, but probably have never actually seen (or heard) one.

* From their earliest days, a camera was something you used once and threw away.

* As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.

* The oil crisis is history of which they probably know nothing -- and why anyone *wouldn't* buy a Suburban is beyond them.

* Most of them have probably never seen a real nun, even if they attended Catholic schools.

* Most of them have never seen and do not know how to use a rotary dial phone.

* Few, if any, have lived without an answering machine or a VCR.

* Few have used a TV set with only 13 channels. Many find it hard to even believe.

* Some use the word "clickers" for "remote control," yet they do not know why they say it.

* The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.

* They have never lived in a world that didn't know of personal computers.

Have a nice day. You old coot.